Air
by Rodacoma
Summary: SukaXlulu! my first story so please read! The raging war in leouch's mind to either seize his chance at being with his one true love? or does he chose to leave Suzaku for the path of regret? read and find out!yaoi in later chapters! XD finally yaoi in it!
1. guilty

Suzaku slammed me against the hard concrete wall and I cried out in a mix of both pain and pleasure as he crushed his tender lips to my soft ones. My previous protests were gone now as he seized me up and once again wept me off my feet. I knew what we were doing- No what I was doing was wrong and that I should stop him but no matter what I could not stop him. It was like trying not to breath .You can only last so long at fighting the physical need. And my body needed him like I needed air.

"lulu don't even try to resist, you know you'll just give in eventually" Suzaku whispered huskily in my ear. My body trembled against him and I felt myself begin to give way slowly but I then remembered who I really was and showed him away from him. I avoided his eyes at first but then forced myself to look him in the eyes and- OH! That was a mistake I thought as I began gazing into them. He gazed back at me with such a gentle expression in those emerald eyes in knew so well that it broke my heart. I'm not the one he should be looking at with those eyes. I thought to myself bitterly and pushed at him with more force

"No Suzaku. I told you that I don't want to do this" I said much stronger now then I was before.

Suzaku gentle expression broke and a look of hurt crossed his beautiful features that I admired one last time. I took in the messy brown hair, the golden tanned skin, the well built body but most of all the rich green of his eyes that always reminded me of oak leafs in the summer. I took in the small angry boy he use to be and the strong sweet passionate young man he was now. But the hurt on his face vanished in an instint and he flushed with rage.

"WHY!?!? Leouch I don't understand! Why do you keep pushing me away like this!" and with that the wall came up. The wall suzaku had spent to long to break down was back up again and I knew what I was about to do was for the best. The best for him. I glared up at the taller boy and said with as much anger as I could muster,

"You have NO right to be angry with me for not accepting your molestation! I could have you arrested for this! And you know what if you don't leave me alone right now I will call the police!" I wish I had never had that moment of weakness back those months ago. And just like that I began to cry I ran away as fast as I could. I knew I should leave, I NEEDED to leave. I lelouch for the sake of my true love Suzaku… the guilt was unbearable. I had killed Suzaku's love my beloved sister Euphie I had never meant to but I had and Suzaku had no idea that euphie's murderer "zero" was really me Leouch and as I, Leouch vi Britania! Fell to pieces in silent as suzaku fell in love with the murderer of his love, Leouch could not tell him. Oh how he loved him but it was wrong to do this to Suzaku he must bear the burden of euphies murderer NOT the comfort of Suzaku's lover. He must not show weakness to him ever again it had happened ONCE and it was MONTHS ago and he would keep a wall between him and Suzaku no matter what! But little did I know that would lead to my true loves death.

- Hi guys thanks if you read this all the way threw sorry it kinda sucks =/ it's my first story to put up on here and I'm a bit nervous please tell me what you think do you think I should go on??? I'm not sure please tell me if you have any ideas for it to make it better!! I WUV YOU!!! ^.^


	2. determined

"Lelouch how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?" said Suzaku from outside the door to my apartment. It had been a week since I had last spoken to him and he simply refused to give up. He stopped by my apartment every single day to try and talk to me. I had moved out long ago from the building the Ashford family had generously let Nunally and I use as a home but Nunally was now living with Kallen at her house and I was living alone in a small apartment by myself- well not all by myself- C.C was still living with me. She was still by my side through all the hardships we had gone threw. If only Suzaku could know everything if only he would hold me in his arms after I confessed everything to him. If only he would whisper in my hear that it was all okay, that it wasn't my fault- NO! that was only an if only that wasn't an impossibility. And even the image of Suzaku holding me was an illusion of lies. Lies that I had told. I must wear a mask to Suzaku who knew me better then anyone. The one I loved most in this world even more then my dear sister Nunnaly who I lived for. But now I knew the mask I wore well. The mask of a "hero" the mask of a murderer. Oh dear Euphie, sweet plain little Euphie… and with that I raised my voice to Suzaku who was still pounding on the door . I stood on the other side of that door. Only a few inches, a few words away from being in his arms. But in Euphies name I knew what I had to say to my one true love.

"Suzaku I hate you" I said on the other side of the door. I stood there for a moment hoping he couldn't hear the voice screaming inside me to take it back.

"Leouch open the door" he said in a dead calm voice. It frightened me but I remained in composure.

"no Suzaku, leave now." I replied.

"alright, then step away from the door please" he said in the same dead calm voice. Shit, shit, shit I thought to myself. No way he's not going to bust the door down-

The door busted down with a crashing sound. I stared with wide violet eyes at Suzaku as he stood up above me. He looked down at me with a grin on his tanned face, his vibrant emerald eyes laughing down at me. I got angry. I shouted at him in frustration.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!? Look at what you've done to the door! You took it right off the hinges! Are you fucking insane!? YOU IDIOT!!!" I kept ranting on at him with as much force as I could. I tried to scare him like others were so frightened of zero but his face just softened and he looked at me with a loving gaze which I didn't deserve. This is bad, I thought to myself with panic. He's right here in front of me I need to get out of here damn it! No don't look in his eyes you idiot!

"I love you" Suzaku said still gazing at me softly.

And just like that all my resistance was gone. I'm so sorry Euphie I can't take it anymore. Not when he's here right now I love him-

"I'm Zero" I said to him suddenly. It was now or never now that I knew I couldn't resist him I had to resort to plan B.

Suzaku stared at me in shock for a moment and then began to laugh. He laughed as if that was the most ridicules thing he had ever heard in his life. As he laughed I pulled out my mask, the mask of Zero when he saw it his laughter came to an abrupt stop

And just like that everything went black.

-HI EVERYONE~~~ Thanks for reading this all the way threw sorry it was kinda boring oh and Sorry it took so long to update man life has been crazy! There wasn't much to this chapter but next chapter will be filled with good stuf I promise!!!^.^ THERE WILL BE YAOI XD yes indeed there will be =D hope you guys liked it! BYE~~~~~ ^.^ I WUV YOU GUYS!!!~~~~~


	3. sorry

"Suzaku I'm sorry" I said as I saw tears form in the pit of his swimming green eyes. We had been standing there for about two full minutes just staring at each other, Suzaku must have been in shock, I was just waiting for his reaction. I saw the heart broken expression on his face as my words sunk into his mind, I saw it all in his eyes. I could see the hurt, the look of betrayal. And then I saw his muscles tense as he moved toward me. _So now he's going to beat me to death to avenge Euphie too bad I can't let him kill me quite yet_. And just as I was about to move out of the way he grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me in I looked into his eyes and looked for the first signs of hatred and anger to form… and I saw it, but it looked somehow… different from how I imagined it would. There was something else in his eyes. I searched his eyes until I realized just what it was that I saw in his eyes…

Lust

Suzaku suddenly threw me to the floor. _This is it_, I thought _but wait_…

"Lelouch take off your cloths"

I starred at him in shock from underneath him. He was standing above me looking down at me with an insane grin on his face.

"wh-wh- WHAT? I absolutely will NOT do that! How dare you even-

"No Lelouch how dare **YOU**" Suzaku said in a menacing voice that was no longer gentle but yet at the same time was not really filled with hatred.

"Suzaku listen your going about this all wrong why are you- HEY wait stop that!"

I screamed out as Suzaku began to pull off my cloths. I fought as hard as I could but Suzaku had always been much stronger then me. I had always been a thinker V.S a fighter. But in this situation, all the thinking in the world wouldn't get me out of this.

" Lelouch are you really going to try and get away? After everything you've done to me? I thought you were the kind of person who would take the punishment you deserved… I guess you really are just a selfish bastard" he said and then looked down at the ground. I couldn't see his eyes but I saw the tension in his body. He was shaking as he held me to the ground

"**It's too damn bad I'm completely in love with you"**

With that I stopped fighting all together. I looked up at him, my large violet eyes becoming even larger as I stared up at him. He looked up at me to see the tears running down my face. Now I was shaking worse then him. Suddenly I began taking my own clothing off my hair draped in front of my eyes.

" very well Suzaku, do with me what you please… I'm yours"

Hi everybody! . sorry I left at a cliff hanger again I'll up load the next chapter right away =3 I hope you guys liked what I have so far but next chapter there will be **TONS **of lemon! XD so thanks for reading this all the way threw I wuv you guys sooooooo much! ^.^


	4. lustfulsorrow

Suzakus hands were hot against my cold skin as he slid them down my hips and to my bottom. I closed my eyes and tried not to feel the way they made my heart stutter. I almost wished he was beating me. It would be a lot easier to cope with but this… this way nearly impossible to grasp.

"look at me lelouch" He whispered in a husky voice that I tried to ignore. I also tried to ignore that Suzaku could see how aroused I had become. My unfortunately small penis was erected and throbbing with a little bit of pre cum dripping from the tip. I was hiding my face to cover the blush that painted my face as Suzaku continued rubbing my hips in a sexual manner that made me even more turned on.

"fine then." Suzaku said in a flat voice. "I'll just make you want me so bad you'll do whatever I say just to get me to touch you" me stated with a bleak smile on his face.

Suddenly his hands left my hips to grab hold of my erection. I gasped out in pleasure but tried to mask it as surprise. He didn't fall for it though so I knew it was pointless but I tried to suppress the moans threatening to escape me as he pumped my manhood roughly.

"Lulu" he whispered and this time I could see all the emotions plain on his face. The anger, the betral, and the… what was that look in his eyes that I kept seeing? His finger then slide into my back entrance and he began trusting his fingers roughly into me.

"Suzaku!" I yelped. I couldn't stop myself this time. He was leaning over me while one hand worked on my cock and the other on my backside in a rhythmic pattern of trusting and pumping.

"Ah….Ah…Suzak-…." I began to moan his name out but tried feebly to stop myself. Without telling them to, my hips started moving with Suzaku's hands and I worked hard at keeping them still and on the floor.

"what was that?" he asked, punctuating each word with another thrust. I kept my mouth shut tightly and my eyes covered with my arm, I refused to answer his question that was obviously meant to tease me. And just when I felt myself coming close to my climax, he stopped

"Fine then". He removed his fingers from my hole and took his hand from my cock. He smiled down at me and backed away and I took my arm from my face and looked at him with wide violet eyes filled with lust and confusion.

"wh… why did you stop?" I whispered in desperation. I couldn't stop the words from flowing from my mouth and his smile grew to a grin. He could see me clearly now. He could see that my body was covered in glistening perspiration, that my eyes were hazy with pleasure and I was trembling visibly. I had lost control and my body was acting on it's own along with my hearts desires. He looked at me in my weak state and stated with a cruel crooked smile

"I'll keep going…if you beg me."

And with that I began to cry.

It wasn't even crying really. It was more like broken sobs being wrenched from my heart and soul. I didn't even realize that words were escaping from my lips as I sobbed. And I heard a pathetic creature repeating over and over in a strangled voice

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry" and I heard myself scream out in anguish and self despise.

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOU EUPHIE! I'M SO SORRY!"

And with that… Suzaku kissed me…

~~~~~ Hey everybody! I'm really sorry it took so long to update and I know I said that I would update sooner! There was testing and graduation is coming up ugh . its all so time consuming! So here is a gift from me to you! YAOI! XD SUZAxLULU FOR THE WIN! I hope You liked it and I hope there aren't too many errors in there because I worked really hard on this! Comment if you feel like it! It always warms my heart to hear a little feed back =') !See you next chapter!


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